Day 2: A Month to give Thanks

Today I am thankful for the two amazing children that we've been blessed with. These little people are my whole world! They bring me endless joy and fill my life with laughter and smiles. Each and every day I look at them and think to myself, I can't believe they're mine. There is an exclusive love for this world that comes with being a Mom, it makes everything sparkle. I love watching them experience things for the first time, so much joy and amazement shines on their little faces. They bring a fresh burst of energy to my life, and more love than I ever knew to exist. Everything is more beautiful now that they're in the world!

Thank you to Kaylee Renee, for being the most wonderful daughter in the world. For teaching me how to be your Mom...you make it so easy. From the second I felt you move, I was in love...yours forever. You are more precious to me than you can imagine and I love you more every second. Your smile brightens my life and your love warms my heart. You are truly beautiful inside and out.

Thank you to Evan Jeffrey, for being my little Bo. You've had my heart from day one. Every smile and every laugh...every kiss and every hug...life is so rich with you. I love to watch you dance and play. I look forward to so much with you. I love you more than words can say

Fall has finally arrived, my absolute favorite time of year, a time of change. Pumpkin spice lattes are the new favorite and Halloween costumes replace what used to be the isle of beach towels and boogie boards. Much like the Fall, Motherhood is a season of change. A time that we transition from being women devoted to our husbands and our career, to being devoted to keeping our children alive and well. Like all mothers, I started off as a sleep deprived woman on a mission, to be the best Mom EVER! Quickly I realized that this would be the hardest job, that I would ever have. Now six years and second baby later, I can finally say that I’ve learned the secret weapon of Motherhood…the power of prayer.
The following is a letter that I wrote to my son two years ago. It was a time of desperation and I could not see the end of this crazy stage in sight. So one night after bedtime I broke down in tears and wrote exactly what was on my mind.

Dearest Evan,
It has been my greatest honor to be your Mommy for the past nineteen months. I love you to the moon and back again, infinity times infinity. From the moment you were born, you've had a piece of my heart and soul. Seeing your beautiful and happy little face every day fills me with too much joy. Your laughter is greater than any gift that you could wrap with your sweet little hands.
With that said...
I found my first gray hair today and there is no doubt in my mind that you put it there. Maybe it started growing the day that you dragged your sister's chair to the counter and tried to reach for the coffee pot. It could have been the next day when you learned how to open the fridge and threw a glass bowl full of grapes onto the tile floor. More than likely it was the day that you climbed from a bowl, to a bar stool, and then onto the kitchen island and grabbed a knife. I guess it's also possible that it started growing last night when I was brushing your sweet little hair after bath time, and you ran off in your nice clean jammies and jumped back in the tub. What I'm trying to say, is that I love you so much that I would like to keep you in one piece. You don't make it so easy...
Every morning I pray that God will walk with you, that he will help me keep you safe. Be with you as you grow, and especially when I cannot. God has given you to me, because he knew that I could handle this. As much as I am here for you, you are here for me too. You teach me patience, and you remind to be thankful. As your Mommy, I look at you and hope that I can fix any problem that you will ever have, kiss every boo-boo, wipe every tear. I treasure everything about you. all ten fingers and ten toes, and all four limbs. Please...PLEASE...be more careful.
Love, Mommy

Reading back through this letter, gave me sense of joy and accomplishment. That was the most difficult season yet, and I made it through. I spent many nights praying for guidance, and I definitely had help along the way, but I did it. There may be many storms to come and many seasons ahead, but I know that what I have accomplished is worth every gray hair. From the time I wake up in the morning until the time I go to bed, my mind is on my children. God has blessed me with two wonderful children and in doing so he has asked me to love these children, to teach them to love each other and to love all that he has created. He has given me the most precious job, because as a Mother, I hold the greatest love in my heart, the same love that he holds for me.

My little Bo, where do I even begin? You know that you light up my heart with love and fill my days with happiness. Three years ago today, I saw your face for the very first time, held your tiny little hand in mine, and watched you sleep all night. You were the sweetest baby boy in the world and I just couldn't kiss you enough.

At 3 years old you are charming, funny, tenderhearted, and incredibly smart. You are 39 inches tall and you weigh about 34 pounds. This year a major event occured in your life, when you moved from your birthplace of Arizona, to Florida! A big accomplishment for you was starting Preschool, way to go!

Your favorite...
place to be is at home with your family, at the park, or at Monkey Joe's
movies are Toy Story, The Incredibles, and Monsters Inc.
ride at Disneyworld is Splash Mountain
place to eat is Chick-Fil-A
snack is popcorn
friend is Michael
song is Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star
books are Pinkalicious and No,David!
teacher is Mrs. Carter
comfort is your "banky"
weather is rain

Fun things you did this year include...
went to Disneyland
went to Disneyworld (Magic Kingdom & Epcot)
met Preston(baby button) the day he was born
went to your first movie, The Lion King
danced with your cousins at weddings (3)
vacationed in Bellingham, Washington
vacationed in Tahoe, Modesto, and Southern California.
spent Christmas at home for the first time!
made new friends
enjoyed being a 49er fan!
got a Monkey Joe's membership

Mommy's favorite thing you said to her this year was, "Momma, rock your baby", as you crawled into my lap.

Daddy's favorite thing you said to him this year was, "I wa-wa Daddy"(translation, I love you Daddy)

Sissy's favorite thing that you do for her, is when you open the car door for her, before going around to your side. She says you are a gentleman, and I agree!

Funny story:
I told you that your "banky" needed a bath. Ten minutes later, I heard the bathwater running and ran in to find you laying next to your blanket in a bathtub full of water. You were so proud of yourself for giving banky a bath.

My baby is growing up..

Well...here I am ALONE, thinking about 1 hour and 54 minutes ago, when I had to leave my son (my baby) at Preschool for the very first time...

We've talked about this day all week. The excitemint of being a big boy and going to school just like "Sissy" has been all EJ could talk about. We took a trip out to the Preschool, met the teacher, and played on the playground. Unfortunately, nothing can really prepare you for the emotional moment when you have to actually leave without your baby. As I walked him to the classroom today all I could think about was the day he was born, seeing his face for the first time, knowing that this little boy was going to fill my heart with joy. When he reached for my hand, I could almost feel his tiny hand wrap around my finger for the first time. Of course at this point, I feel ridiculous because every Mom has to do this at some point and I'm sure they don't feel like a complete basket case. As I walked out of the classroom, it took every ounce of strength I had not to run back in and say "Just kidding, we'll be back in a few years!" Thankfully, my husband was right by my side and together we walked away.

People tell you that it's hard, they say "he's having fun you just can't see it." I want to see it! One of the many reasons that I chose this profession (Mom), is I want to be there for every moment. I want to KNOW that he's having fun, I want to SEE the smile on his face as he plays with his new friends, I want to WATCH his little hands making art and playing with playdough, and I really want to HEAR him sing songs and laugh. It feels so strange to be alone, even just for 3 hours 2 times a week. There is always noise coming from somewhere, the backseat, the patio, the family room, and right now SILENCE. I thought it might be peaceful, but it's not, I just feel deserted. I've had a child holding my hand or in my arms for almost 6 years, my two little sidekicks. Now I have to learn to be just me again.

The most emotional part for me is knowing that this is the end of a chapter in his life, the "be with Mommy every second of the day" chapter... ok let's face it, the "baby" chapter. The only thing that gets me through this 3 hours (or if I'm being honest, the last week) is knowing this is really the beginning of a whole new chapter in his life, the making friends and learning independence chapter. As hard as it is, I have to face the facts, my baby is growing up way too fast...just like he's supposed to.

"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be"

Letter to my Son

Dear Evan,

It has been my greatest honor to be your Mommy for the past 19 months. I love you to the moon and back again. From the moment you were born, you've had a piece of my heart and soul. Seeing your beautiful and happy little face everyday fills me with too much joy. Your laughter is greater than any gift that you could wrap with your sweet little hands.

With that said...

I found my first gray hair today and there is no doubt in my mind that you put it there. Maybe it started growing the day that you dragged your sister's chair to the counter and tried to reach the coffee pot. It could have been the next day when you learned how to open the fridge and threw a glass bowl full of grapes onto the tile floor. The night you made your way up to the wine rack and threw the bottle like one of your bowling pins is also a good possibility. More than likely it was the day that you climbed from a bowl, to a bar stool, and then onto the kitchen island and grabbed a knife. I guess it's also possible that it started growing last night when I was brushing your sweet little hair after bathtime, and you ran off in your nice clean jammies and jumped back in the tub. What I'm trying to say, is that I love you so much that I would like to keep you in one piece. You don't make it so easy...

Every morning I pray that God will help me keep you out of harms way....and everyday I'm reminded that harms way is the only path you are interested in. As your Mommy, I look at you and wish that I could fix any problem that you will ever have, kiss every boo-boo, wipe every tear. I treasure everything about you...all 10 fingers and 10 toes...all 4 limbs...please...PLEASE...be more careful.

~Momma

Picture Perfect

Picture Perfect Wednesday

This will be a regular on my blog. I'll start this off with 3 pictures that mean so much to me. As a mother, nothing is more special than the love your children share. To introduce Kaylee to her new baby brother and watch her embrace him with so much love was the most amazing feeling, it was Picture Perfect!